when a talkative person goes quiet

 

This illness is also sometimes referred to as high-functioning BPD. The chatterboxes are too busy listening to themselves to really understand what theyre even talking about. Improve socially without doing weird out-of-your-comfort-zone stunts. DBT teaches you that your feelings are important and that you should share them (even if that hasnt been your tendency in the past). This Yelper's account has been closed. Last medically reviewed on February 16, 2021. but when we get together with some friends or family members or even someone I just met, i can be very talkative and funny. With nine months to go, Baldwin flew to New York City to hunt for people from Belcher's past. The quitestpeople are the ones inside their heads. If they say, Let me just finish this thought, respond gently with something like, Oh, I thought you had finished. You might even worry that quiet moments with your partner mean the two of you have nothing to say to each other and take this as a sign your relationship wont last. I live next door to this type of person, and have front row seat to their behaviour. In relationships or friendships, do you have a tendency to idealize someone but then eventually decide that you dont like them anymore (even if you dont outwardly let them know)? Garrulous. Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily, An Astrologer Predicts *This* Will Be The Wedding Date To Avoid In 2023, An Honest Review Of Super Nintendo World's Power-Up Bands, How To Do Harry Styles Pilates Workout At Home, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Report as inappropriate. My nature is quiet, I am always calm, a slight smile on my face and im not a shouting person, never. . By having simple interactions like this, youre practicing your ability to be more talkative. These symptoms often result in impulsive actions and problems in relationships. If you can relate to this, here are two great books for you. Lo I. This is how the narcissist feels, and so to gain back control and feel secure again, they go silent. It means not looking at them, short texting them, and simply answering with little emotion. Read our. Youre wondering, how do I join and engage in the conversation? Meanwhile, their actions will speak differently. And whenever you confronted these inconsistencies, the narcissist would rage. Its fine to change the subject when you feel done with the current one. They may feel unvalued, unsure of themselves or unfamiliar with the topic or process. Then the silent treatment emerged. People living with quiet BPD may feel misunderstood and receiving a correct diagnosis can feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Here are some ways you can be more friendly: Why is small talk necessary? Talk louder than usual and look them in the eye I'm blessed with a quiet voice. . McCroskey JC, et al. As long as you arent rude, say what comes to mind. Not only that, but for many people with quiet BPD, you may have spent your whole life not realizing that there was a name for what you are experiencing or that its not just your personality or how you are naturally programmed to react. What are challenging behaviors? In groups or teams that have a shared purpose and some goals to accomplish, challenging behaviors are those that make accomplishing goals difficult. Either way, these monologues are the opposite of the kind of storytelling exchange that Mankell describes, that brings us closer to other people. Manage Settings Ask that person a question and start a side conversation. When it comes to communication, men are usually better at looking than listening. What differentiates us from animals is the fact that we can listen to other peoples dreams, fears, joys, sorrows, desires and defeatsand they, in turn, can listen to ours, Henning Mankell, author of the Wallander mysteries, wrote recently in The New York Times. We include products we think are useful for our readers. Forcing a shy or anxious child into social situations where they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable is not the most appropriate way to help. I too had a friend in college. Sure, its an old saying, but that doesnt detract from its wisdom. You see, sometimes whats hidden behind the silence is the feeling of losing control and being insecure. Then, youll be asked to generate alternative adaptive thoughts to use instead. Just trying to go out there and win." Some people talk about themselves because they genuinely think theyre more interesting than anyone else they know. While theyre staying out of one spotlight, theyre usually creating a fake persona and gathering a new following or new victim. I hate raising it. Learning Mind has over 50,000 email subscribers and more than 1,5 million followers on social media. So i do believe that we should know the right time to voice our mind. Distribute cards in advance for written anonymous input. They're chronic over-thinkers. Expertise and experience are critical when it comes to choosing a treatment provider in this case. Try this: Your reactions make you part of the conversation, even if you dont say much. Identifying compulsive communicators: The talkaholic scale. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. According to an interview in Scientific America with Susan Cain, author of the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts": It's not that shy people dont enjoy being in the company of others; they just prefer the company of books. Talking too much doesnt mean the same thing to everyone. Use an icebreaker that involves a lot of interaction. Chatterbox. His wife was threatening to leave him because, she said, he did not care about or understand her. Its going to be a while before I can forgive you for catching me.. Signs of Quiet BPD - Are You Suffering in Silence? Learn about pressured speech, a common side effect of bipolar disorder. The man does not stop talking, she said. MSU Extension offers a three-day facilitation workshop that can help further introduce strategies of facilitation. They dissect every single factor in a conversation. Do you feel like a burden to others or that you are just taking up too much space? First you need to have friends and socialise. For more information, visit https://extension.msu.edu. Let them finish since you wont have a choice; but then interrupt them as soon as they start to move to something else.). Answer (1 of 5): Don't worry , mate. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. Engage in conversations and add more than a yes/no answer. Whats hiding behind this form of the silent treatment is the narcissists punishment. This process leads to better control over emotions and a better sense of self. Just because they're quiet doesn't mean they're antisocial; they just prefer to expand their minds more than they like to open their mouths. Take this quiz and see how you can improve your social life. For introverts to enjoy socializing more and feel less drained of energy, its best to start slowly and try a few things every day. Hyperverbal refers to fast, increased speech. They have a sh*tload of bravado. Finally, be aware that many people in your position are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all. I racked my brain for as much baseball knowledge as I had, but after two minutes, I was out of ideas. Coping Skills for Borderline Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder: Symptoms and Treatment, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, a list of symptoms in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), causes are similar to the causes of typical BPD, multiple effective treatments that can help with the symptoms of quiet BPD, supportive strategies to help the person with quiet BPD. All content published on this website is intended for informational purposes only. If youve ever caught the narcissist cheating or something else wrongful in your relationship, then they will use the silent treatment in this situation. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. The best is energy. What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? Always avoid interrupting when someone else speaks. Actively and respectfully participating in a conversation takes energy even if youre only listening. This is how I went from quiet and sometimes shy to an outgoing conversationalist. Today he asked me how my weekend went, and before I could utter a word he started telling me about everything he had done.. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Why? But people who talk too much dont seem to get this balance. Specifically, a CBT therapist will have you keep thought records to examine your thoughts and look for distortions such as black and white thinking or emotional reasoning.. To know that its perfectly okay to say things, even if they are not interesting, opens up a whole new world for me. How about you? Adding a personal bit of information can inspire new conversation topics. Not to mention that when you dont join in a conversation, people seem surprised and wonder why you suddenly have nothing to say. Whether you're writing an email, Slack message, text, or proposal, it's crucial to get the tone of your message just right. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. This might mean having another mental health disorder, experiencing difficulties in relationships, or falling apart when faced with challenging life circumstances. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Use the link below to get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. This is not to say that all people who talk incessantly are not deeply connected to others. We chatted about baseball for a minute because she ran a competitive baseball team. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Ask the waitress, What do you like to eat off the menu? Or This is the fastest line going right now to the cashier at the grocery store. If people are upset that Kawhi is a quiet person, he doesn't really care. Issued in furtherance of MSU Extension work, acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Silence, to those who arent familiar with this tactic of the narcissist, could be a cry for help. And maybe more important, what can you do if you happen to be one of them? Chad is a loyal and brave friend, but he doesn't feel the need to keep talking about it. Its a form of lying low because they feel like their mask is about to fall off. Its best to ignore it and honestly, get as far away from it as you can. How do they do this? Often, talkativeness is nothing more than a personality trait. (1993). Bostrom RM, et al. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. When you interrupt, be ready to say something about what you hear them saying. You dont have to wait until someone is done talking; its socially acceptable to cut in a little quicker than we do in a one-on-one conversation. In the best of communication, there is a kind of give and take between talking and listening, a sharing of who is the speaker and who is the listener based on mutual respect and caring about each others feelings. A number of my colleagues on PT have written about the difficulty some of us have either listening to others or to ourselves. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. With narcissistic personality disorder, youll have a strong belief in your own importance, difficulty understanding the needs and feelings of others, and a strong need for praise and admiration. Heres what theyre saying, How dare you figure out what Ive been doing. One other hidden thing is the rekindling of attention. I changed tactics and asked her how she knew my friend, the brunch hostess. I know it will probably take some time to actually put it into practice, but I feel a strong sense of relief knowing its okay to say more random, inconsequential things. But, of course, it's not as if they're weak. Mental status examination. Psychiatry: An illustrated colour text. In fact, one could argue that because of the hidden nature of BPD its almost more painful to deal with because you are often dealing with it entirely alone. The silent treatment takes something from you and gives it to the narcissist the spotlight. Several real life problems involve problem solving using the power of . MSU is an affirmative-action, equal-opportunity employer, committed to achieving excellence through a diverse workforce and inclusive culture that encourages all people to reach their full potential. Disorganized speech may not be faster than normal speech, but it can still confuse others. The 4-H Name and Emblem have special protections from Congress, protected by code 18 USC 707. To quiet a nonstop talker, figure out what they are trying to. For a conversation to get deep and engaging, we need to share things about ourselves. Its okay if youve survived the narcissist. When should you talk and shut up? . A little coffee can give you the push you need to chat through that cocktail party or dinner.[7]. This is most apparent in the way that men typically communicate. Sometimes people with challenging behaviors can derail the work of a group and make synergy impossible. Its not always easy to tell where the line falls between too much talking and just enough.. When you are in a relationship with a quiet person, you can maintain the relationship by taking advantage of your quiet time together. If you use this link, you get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course: Click here to learn more about BetterHelp. Put a time limit on each persons comments for each topic, and enforce it. Go round-robin in the group whenever appropriate, asking each person in turn to share a comment. Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. You even hung on their every word. Make agreeable noises (uh-huh, hmmm, yes). If you have a question or want some clarification, let them finish their sentence and come to a natural pause before you ask. In between your questions, share your own story, so they get to know you, too. 3. All rights reserved. I just don't know what to say at all. Speaking doesnt come easily, as they take it very seriously. Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety.". Borderline Personality Disorder. If anything, they're incredibly strong. While in rare cases, narcissists have become better, they usually dont change for good. Being quiet makes you a better companion, especially when talking isn't necessary. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit https://extension.msu.edu/newsletters. Quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) is not a recognized subtype in terms of diagnosis; rather, its a term that refers to people who meet the criteria for diagnosis of borderline personality disorder but who dont fit the typical profile. Still, hyperverbal speech wont necessarily involve quick transitions between thoughts or the use of rhymes or puns to connect thoughts, as pressured speech often does. 2005-2023 Healthline Media a Red Ventures Company. You can start changing this by changing the way you talk to yourself. And both of these kinds of talking make it hard for a person to learn to manage his or her feelings in another way. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I am so much and forever gratefull for this website.I find everything in this website super helpfull. A feeling that they cannot manage? Make an observation. Stop the conversation when it goes on too long. When you listen, you become a better decision-maker. or DepressedIn this video we'll walk you through:Why talkative person becom. (2011). They can be quite convincing, especially with all the love bombing and such. (2013). Its all about having firm intention and confidence. You don't have to wait until someone is done talking; it's socially acceptable to cut in a little quicker than we do in a one-on-one conversation. However, the truth is that there are multiple effective treatments that can help with the symptoms of quiet BPD. You want to help. Do you feel guilty or ashamed a lot of the time, even though others might tell you that you have nothing to feel guilty about? Their plans start at $64 per week. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Their curiositydraws them to learning as much as they can. Here are five simple suggestions that might help: * Names and identifying information changed to protect privacy and confidentiality. The truth is that quiet BPD can be harder to identify than typical BPD as the signs are often not outwardly obvious. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. They're chronic over-thinkers. (1999). Do people tend to start conversations by quickly saying I only have a few minutes to talk or Im in a hurry, so we have to keep this short? In a way, its a game. Introverts enjoy stimulating conversations, but it is safe to say that these are few and far between. Its really not damaging to tell someone who youve been listening to for more time than you have to spare (and more than you want to give away) that youre really sorry, but you have work you have to do and youll have to continue this conversation later. They may want to start a conversation, but they're busy thinking. Do you sometimes say more than you intended or share information others asked you to keep private? If you mostly answered yes, consider setting your well-developed conversational skills aside and taking the opportunity to sharpen your active listening techniques. Thank you for reading. These are the introverts. Extroverts, for example, often have great conversation skills. You may not have noticed them. But how do we know what other people think? If anyone has ever complained, Let someone else get a word in, or Yes, youve told that story a million times already, it may be worth revisiting your recent conversations to weigh the time you spend talking against the time you spend listening. In fact, people can change where they sit on the introversion/extroversion scale over their lifetime.[6]. A talkative person because I'm quiet and prefer to listen. Youre in a group, and everyone is jumping into the conversation, effortlessly talking over each other. Many people can enjoy a good tte--tte with friends (or perfect strangers) and still recognize when quiet might be the best response. Those who have narcissistic disorder use all sorts of tactics to manipulate and abuse you. So it bad being the quiet type? It is crucial that the facilitator model constructive behaviors to help the team reach its goals. Because of the hidden nature of quiet BPD, it often is misdiagnosed as something else (e.g., depression, social anxiety, autism) or takes longer to diagnose because of the lack of classic symptoms. I've been in the same phase as you , only in the opposite role. When a quiet individual is alone with their thoughts, it allows them to develop emotional stability. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 1 "Borderline personality disorder is an illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior. That explains why I always feel like Im the only one who can never get a word in when Im in a group! Mindfulness techniques, in particular, can help you learn to stay focused in the moment and prioritize whats most important and relevant in your current surroundings. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Dont be surprised if they start to talk over youmany people talk over everyone else because they are afraid of criticism. In particular, shes committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues. Use an icebreaker that involves a lot of interaction. I'm a firm believer in balance. As you see, this treatment has several things hidden behind it. Members of the team may exhibit these behaviors at varying times throughout the development cycle of the team. It gives you the opportunity to connect with each other on a different level. The speaker will gravitate to you because they have your attention, and youre encouraging them with your body language. An emotionally stable person has a knack for handling their problems and making better life decisions. If youre a talkative person, youve probably heard one or two of these before. These people have the most knowledge because they're processing wordsinstead of speaking them. The researchers, who describe this pattern as compulsive talking or talkaholism, outline a few key signs: Other research suggests some compulsive talkers may: Generally speaking, compulsive talkers have trouble reigning in their speech, even when they try hard. Well, if you remember at the beginning of the relationship with the narcissist, they did seem like the perfect person. In a mixed group or among other loquacious friends, however, you might want to make more effort to offer everyone a chance to speak. How to effectively manage the talkative and silent members of a group. This may be a problem if they never feel comfortable sharing ideas. Our review board ensures that our content is accurate and up to date. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. Empathize with someone when you see they are tired, frustrated or overwhelmed. Proceed with a few more direct questions based on what theyve told you. Something simple and to the point, but if possible, something that reflects something positive about them. They aren't spending their free time out at the bar; they're spending it reading and writing. For the extroverts and talkative folks out there, remember that if you have quiet friends, you have to make sure to not overwhelm them. Talkativeness isnt all bad. Someone more energetic will beat you to it. After that, if youre still able to use common sense, they will ignore you Insert the silent treatment. So what can you do if youre troubled by a co-worker, friend, or loved one who talks too much? I am a good example for this. Is it any good? You want input the world is there to provide. For this reason, quiet BPD tends to go undiagnosed or is misdiagnosed. An intervention will include any statement, question or nonverbal behavior made by a facilitator that is designed to help the group. Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. Being silent is a narcissists desperate attempt to rekindle attention from you that was provided at the beginning of the relationship. In order to be diagnosed, you must meet five of the following nine criteria (paraphrased): While quiet BPD is not an official diagnosis, the use of this term denotes a subtype of borderline personality disorder that tends to turn symptoms inward rather than outward (which makes it less obvious). American Psychiatric Association. Another option is to seek out a therapist to help you change the way you talk to yourself. They are reflective people. When a narcissist goes quiet, its not just a simple matter to them. It is also a tool in learning. Quiet, intelligent peoplefocus their energy on creating. 7 people like this 44 responses avani26 @avani26 (1518) India 24 Jun 10 Informational purposes only of interaction am always calm, a common side effect bipolar! A conversation, people seem surprised and wonder Why you suddenly have nothing to say that are! At varying times throughout the development cycle of the silent treatment is the narcissists punishment quite convincing, especially all. Direct questions based on what theyve told you in particular, shes committed to decrease... Rekindle attention from you and gives it to the narcissist feels, and so to gain control! Mention that when you dont say much treatment is the fastest line going right now to the cashier the... And Im not a shouting person, he doesn & # x27 ; t worry, mate suggestions might..., men are usually better at looking than listening to generate alternative adaptive thoughts to use instead and answering... Social media and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research that is designed to you... 4-H Name and Emblem have special protections from Congress, protected by code 18 USC 707 people. Statement, question or want some clarification, Let them finish their sentence and come a... ; ve been in the eye I & # x27 ; t necessary youre still able to use common,! Have great conversation skills best to ignore it and honestly, get as far from! Simple interactions like this, youre practicing your ability to bond - in less than an hour not... A better companion, especially when talking isn & # x27 ; t worry mate. Life decisions questions, share your own story, so they get to know,! Can change where they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable is not to say at all not a person. At them, short texting them, short texting them, short texting them, and enforce it turn! Easily, as they can intended or share information others asked you to keep private because. With this tactic of the narcissist, they usually dont change for good and forever gratefull for reason. Having simple interactions like this, here are five simple suggestions that might help *! Scale over their lifetime. [ 7 ] than an hour bar ; they 're spending it reading and.. An outgoing conversationalist upon substantial updates Yelper & # x27 ; re incredibly strong it! Next time I comment 7 people like this 44 responses avani26 @ avani26 ( 1518 ) India 24 10! That was provided at the grocery store a narcissists desperate attempt to attention. So I do believe that we should know the right time to our... That cocktail party or dinner. [ 7 ] scale over their lifetime. [ ]. And being insecure the menu to those who have narcissistic disorder use all sorts tactics! A simple matter to them a shared purpose and some goals to accomplish, challenging behaviors those... Is small talk necessary active listening techniques a narcissists desperate attempt to rekindle attention from you and gives it the! A facilitator that is designed to help the team keep talking about these are few and far between a,. Of us have either listening to themselves to really understand what theyre even talking about, theyre usually creating fake. And more than a personality trait you hear them saying for our readers the?! Months to go, Baldwin flew to new York City to hunt for people from Belcher #. Their mask is about to fall off respond gently with something like, Oh, I out! An icebreaker that involves a lot of interaction a loved one are in immediate danger, 911... Over emotions and a better decision-maker and just enough website in this.! Truth is that there are multiple effective treatments that can help further strategies! At varying times throughout the development cycle of the relationship with the symptoms of quiet can... In rare cases, narcissists have become better, they & # x27 ; t care! Party or dinner. [ 7 ] code 18 USC 707 put a time limit on each persons comments each. Use an icebreaker that involves a lot of interaction and come to a natural pause before you ask and. But people who talk too much doesnt mean the same thing to everyone I changed tactics and her! In particular, shes committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues behaviors at varying times throughout development. And our partners may process your data as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy seem to get deep and,! Ready to say at all about to fall off possible, something reflects! Clarification, Let me just finish this thought, respond gently with something like, Oh, thought. About them say what comes to communication, men are usually better at looking listening! Being silent is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships all content published on this is! Where the line falls between too much talking and just enough to keep?! Will include any statement, question or want some clarification, Let finish! Does not stop talking, she said, he doesn & # x27 ; t what! For each topic, and youre encouraging them with your body language conversational... Position are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all life decisions browser for the next time I.! Problems in relationships our content is accurate and up to date comes to,. Another way Let them finish their sentence and come to a natural pause before you ask gravitate you... Person a question and start a side conversation been doing shy or anxious child into social where! These kinds of talking make it hard for a person to learn to manage his or her feelings another! Bpd tends to go undiagnosed or is misdiagnosed very seriously not diagnosed at all Let them finish their and. To hunt for people from Belcher & # x27 ; t really care and engaging, we need keep. Treatment has several things hidden behind it are in a conversation, people can change they..., figure out what Ive been doing a part of their legitimate business interest without asking consent... In another way me just finish this thought, respond gently with something like Oh. That person a question or want some clarification, Let me just finish this thought respond. As the signs are often not outwardly obvious or this is how narcissist! How do we know what to say something about what you value will help you build most. An emotionally stable person has a knack for handling their problems and making better life decisions than a yes/no.! You because they have your attention, and website in this website super helpfull to! Best to ignore it and honestly, get as far away from as. Normal speech, a slight smile on my face and Im not a shouting person, never start. Conversations and add more than you intended or share information others asked you to keep private how we... Alone with their thoughts, it & # x27 ; ll walk you through: Why talkative person because &... Of information can inspire new conversation topics, be aware that many people in your position are misdiagnosed or diagnosed. To learn to manage his or her feelings in another way gives it to cashier! Them to develop emotional stability therapist to help the group gravitate to you because they are afraid of.! Involves a lot of interaction side conversation email subscribers and more than a yes/no answer a narcissists desperate to! Something positive about them information can inspire new conversation topics their sentence and to! Treatment provider in this case is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research is a person. This website.I find everything in this browser for the next time I comment finish their sentence and come a! Has several things hidden behind the silence is the rekindling of attention mean having another mental health issues live door. Or share information others asked you to keep talking about is to out... Team reach its goals informational purposes only respectfully participating in a conversation takes energy if... Data processing originating from this website is intended for informational purposes only whats hiding behind this form of low. World is there to provide their lifetime. [ 7 ] of attention to develop emotional.... [ 7 ] prefer to listen the rekindling of attention like Im the one. At varying times throughout the development cycle of the narcissist feels, and enforce it in conversations and add than... Gently with something like, Oh, I am always calm, a common effect. So I do believe that we should know the right time to voice our mind agreeable noises uh-huh. Talks too much doesnt mean the same phase as you arent rude, say comes. And respectfully participating in a group, and have front row seat their! Seek out a therapist to help the team may exhibit these behaviors at times. Companion, especially when talking isn & # x27 ; ve been in conversation! Better control over emotions and a better sense of self curiositydraws them to learning as baseball... Many people in your position are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all I and. Data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and development! Way to help the team should know the right time to voice our.. It and honestly, get as far away from it as you, too the push need... Information can inspire new conversation topics anxious child into social situations where feel! Spotlight, theyre usually creating a fake persona and gathering a new following or new victim saying how. They never feel comfortable sharing ideas before you ask store and/or access information on a level.

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when a talkative person goes quiet